


Maybe Someday

by ZiamandLarry_rulemylife



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Drabble, Panic Attack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-26
Updated: 2015-03-26
Packaged: 2018-03-19 19:12:02
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3621057
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZiamandLarry_rulemylife/pseuds/ZiamandLarry_rulemylife
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Zayn decides that he needs a break</p>
            </blockquote>





	Maybe Someday

**Author's Note:**

> So basically I can't handle Zayn leaving so I wrote this. I'm sorry that the other boys aren't in this but this was just a quick drabble.

The darkness in the room surrounded him. It was strangely calming, the way it made his thoughts quiet down a bit. The curtains were drawn, not a sliver of light getting in through the window of the hotel room. It was quiet in a way Zayn hadn’t experienced in weeks, and it was something he had been longing for. Finally some time alone, to calm the rush of thoughts that had been swarming his head for weeks on end.

He was lying on his back on a king-sized bed with too many pillows in a hotel room that looked like an almost exact copy of the last three he had been in. But the layout of the room didn’t matter, nor did the colour scheme. The only things that mattered were Zayn and his thoughts, the way the breaths in and out pulled at his chest. He craved a cigarette, but couldn’t get himself to move.

The last few weeks had been way too busy, they had been rushed from this interview to that country to the studio and back again and it was putting a strain on all the boys. It was only the start of the tour and they were already sleep deprived and in dire need of a day off. Or, Zayn thought, a little longer than that.

Zayn breathed in deeply, focusing on the way the air filled his lungs, swirling around, holding it in until he physically couldn’t anymore. He puffed the air out, feeling the way it made his chest relax.

His head was empty, the way he wanted it to be. There was nothing but him, the darkness, and the way his chest rose and fell with every breath he took.

A knock on the door disturbed his bubble of peace. Not waiting for an answer, the person who knocked opened the door, making light fall into the room and over Zayn’s face.

“Zayn?” Louis’ voice rung out, cutting through the silence Zayn had built up. Louis walked into the room, shutting the door behind him. The dull sound of his feet hitting the carpet was heard before the bed sunk a bit where he sat down. Zayn could just make out his form crawling towards the middle of the bed where Zayn was laying, his eyes having got used to the lack of light. Louis softly touched his arm before laying down next to him, cuddling up to him. After a few seconds Zayn reciprocated the gesture, turning slightly to the right so he could properly put his arm around Louis.

“Zayn, are you alright?” Louis had seen Zayn on plenty of these days, the days that he felt like he couldn’t get out of bed, that he seemed to fall into himself, but he still asked. It took Zayn a long time to answer, but Louis waited patiently. Zayn was staring up to the ceiling, not knowing how to answer the question. Was he alright? He didn’t know.

“I don’t know,” He mumbled, finally moving his head to the side, looking at Louis. “I genuinely don’t know what I feel.” He said, a bit louder. His eyes were big, looking at Louis in an almost pleading way. Louis tightened his grip around Zayn, knowing that he needed it.

“I know, babe.” Louis whispered, feeling sad for his friend. He knew how hard it could get sometimes, but Zayn had had so many of these days in the last months, that Louis wondered if there was something worse going on.

Both boys didn’t say anything for a long time, thinking. Louis had unknowingly spurred Zayn’s thoughts on again, and Zayn couldn’t really handle it. The problem wasn’t that the thoughts were there, but that there were so many of them and that they were so unorganized. He couldn’t keep track of everything anymore, and it stressed him out. His thoughts were getting really loud again, and before he knew it he was on the verge of a panic attack.

He had had more and more of those the last few weeks, but only when he had been alone because there was no one to distract him. Now though, Louis was here and he was trying to calm himself down but it didn’t work and suddenly he couldn’t breathe. He sat up abruptly, throwing Louis’ arm off of him, in an attempt to get some air, but it didn’t work. He was hyperventilating, and Louis didn’t know what to do.

“Zayn? Zayn? What’s wrong?” He tried, but got no answer. He went to touch Zayn’s arm, but Zayn flinched away violently. Zayn was trying to get air into his lungs, while Louis was watching helplessly.

After a few minutes Zayn’s breathing was normal again, and Louis hesitantly came closer, reaching out again. This time Zayn didn’t flinch away, and Louis rubbed slow circles on his back.

“What brought that on?” He asked quietly, and suddenly Zayn was crying, turning into Louis’ arms.

“It’s so stressful,” He said, his voice thick with tears. “And my mind is kind of full all the time and I just can’t- I can’t deal with it like there’s so much pressure and I don’t understand how you do it. I- I think I want to take a break, maybe live normally for a few months like- like a normal kid you know.” He let out, feeling a weight lift off his shoulders because he finally told someone. Louis however, felt his heart sink to his stomach.

“Do you really feel like that?” He asked, voice tiny. He hadn’t really thought it was this bad. Zayn nodded into his shoulder.

“I just want a break, that’s all.” Zayn said, voice shaky, but determined, having already put much thought into it. Louis nodded, shaken, but realising that this is something Zayn _needs_ , otherwise it’ll all come crashing down.

“Okay.” He whispered, hugging Zayn a bit tighter. He knew that they still had to discuss with the boys and management and that the fans would be devastated but really, he couldn’t possibly say no.

“Really?” Zayn looked up with hopeful eyes, still shiny with tears but beautiful as ever.

“Really.”


End file.
